Silent Sanctuary: November 2004

That is yesterday's blog.
One tip for fella bloggers,if u have a long entry or just any entry.Always copy and paste,esp if that entry is impt to u,coz u never know it cant be uploaded.

What a stupid DnD!So damn bo liao and my idiot right eye is so painful that I keep tearing.My idiot contact lens expired liao.The pain is so unbearable that I took it off and tore it into half!
Yes,i tore the lens and damn,it feels good.Though my right eye is still kinda hurting now.

And I took leave tml,another lie.
Coz:
A)I am really tired.Dunno why.I can easily doze off once my eyes shut.
B)I wanna have the time to look for jobs.Hopefully there is some fruits to be harvest tml.
C)Grace caught me bad mouthing Boss.OPPS!!But heng ar!Im leaving soon.And to be fair,they did too ma!Hope she forgets all about it by Thursday.And dont remind me!
D)...um...Dunno.Maybe I amjust being impulsive.Always did things by my first impulse and intuition.;p

I didnt win anything tonight.
So sad!!
What kinda D and D is that la.Still got a transvestite performs.
What lao eh!And then all the really ah gua chefs doing hot dancing.
Not that I have anything against this grp of pple..but maybe it is not something that I would enjoy watching lo.Not my ..erm..likes.
Definitely not Jason's.

Ok la..so more or less of my last day of this horrible month.
May the new month be better for all of us.

Cheerios

*yest's blog*
----
Just now I realised one horrible fact as I looked into my calender.
Jason and I will not be able to spend our 2nd(and only second) Valentine Day together,coz he will be in tekong!!!!
What the....>_Sigh..I am so gonna HATE 14th Feb once again!No flowers,no chocos,no DATE!!
To think I even have my ideal bouquet in mind.

I realised one thing today.
I MAY not have leave my current job,or leave so fast,if not for D.B.
By some miracle work,she is actually on MC today.Say...There is still hope in earth!
Although today got alot of pple coming in to "challenge" my payroll skills,but I think I managed to do quite ok.
And I even kinda enjoy accomplishing what that falls within my scope.Not that I cant or dun want to challenge tasks beyond my scope but it feels gr8 to be clear of what u r doing!
So damn D.B spoils it all.It is so stress free without her!
Why must she comes here!

I also realised that I have alot of things in mind for December.
I must really sit down and get my list to dos and gets in order.
While it feels cool to be a lil unorganized (or what I call spontaneous sometimes),having things fall just in the right places is good.

Of coz money is the essence here.Without it,I wont be able to do alot of things.So flexible part time jobs are still on the hunt,although I admit I havent really been doing it.Well..coz' I dun wanna work at the expense of my christmas,as if having to miss ur Valentine is not bad enough.

You know..sometimes I just wish that...Ok,I dunno if u call that greedy,but I just wish that Jason can do some lil things sometimes to surprise me a lil and spice our relationship.Not that it is on the down hill now,but I am afraid that it may head that direction soon.
I have seen my fair share of dimming passion in relationships and wouldnt want that to be the reason for myself.

I dun think I've really ask for much..=/?
I dun even have a specific way in mind on how or what he should do to surprise me.
All I ask for is just that lil occasional extra TLC,extra pampering..you know.Which gal doesnt wish to be treated like a princess?

Like the small efforts of making breakfast,getting some lil soft toys or maybe just some ways that dont even cost a thing but can makes u feel really special.

I am not trying to drop some hints or telling Jason here that,"hey..it's time for ur actions!"

But I thought this is my blog,I dun have to be afraid to voice out any thoughts coz I probably dont need any comments too.I am merely putting my thoughts in words so one day I can read them again.

Sigh...Jason is never the type that is shy to say those mushy words.But..lately...I dun think I ever remember really HEARING them,technically that is.

Yes...somethings are "more than words".But women being women,still need to be assure sometimes.
I guess it works for the same as guys,as in men love hearing fluttering praises to brush up their ego.

Suddenly..I dun really feel loved. =<
You may think that is an unfair statement...so sue my feelings!

Although I have a clearer view of what I am gonna do in the later days..but I cant just really sit back and do nothing in the mean while.
I need to be doing something,somehow,somewhere.
Although yes...I think my mind badly needs a break,but if I am richer..I would probably agree.
I have never take a cent from my mum even though she struck some lottery.
And even gives allowances.
So other than the roof over my head,and sometimes the dinner,I proudly declared that I am on my own.

And so this independence side of me wanna shouts for more.
I kinda dream of being somewhere in a high seating in the corporate world.Being in control of my life and all.
But saying all that..I know I'm far from reaching it.Or never perhaps.

I am too vulnerable inside.I complains and whines too easily.I get depressed and soak easily.
And I know..I never ask for much in life.
Easily content is my way of life.

But..I know..I goes ard bitching and being envious of those who could have do much more at my age.Be it that they are studying,working,setting their own biz,on their own or still living off their parents...I know somewhere I wish I could have done better,if not for some restrictions in my life.Which I find in my case is still money.
Duh.

I find it really ironic and contradicting on how money is always one thing that sets me back but I dun feel that it is my priority in life.
I dun feel and really think that I need money to be happy.
I dun have to that kinda flithy rich to enjoy my life and feels better.
For I know is that some of those riches are some asses need to be kick sometimes.
Indeed that they can go ard touring,easily get the coolest gadgets,the branded clothes,or just do whatever they want..But I also know that without those money,I can easily DO MORE than them.
Think when those wealth are strip off from them,do you think that they can still enjoy their lives and do what they are doing now?
They would probably feel as bad as when my house was gone from the usual HDB flat to ash black nothing that time.
For all I've been through,I know I make not necessary better,but sure a stronger person than them.
Coz I live my life with that limited money,and will be able to do very much more if I have their kinda money.
Do you agree?

Well..maybe not.Coz words are just some medium in making urself better,bolder and justifiable.
You are,and I know I am,definitely not as va va voom(;p) as I am as a blogger here.

Well..while music paints the wall,words are just effects.
Remove all of them?
You are really nothing but a shadow.

I have enough said.
Tml is gonna be really busy.Still got the stupid DnD till wee hours.
I know it's one in that few hundred chances,but I kinda still wish and really wish that I get the camera.
And no worries,I will really just cuss the person who gets it,other than me.
Heh!

Just now I realised one horrible fact as I looked into my calender.
Jason and I will not be able to spend our 2nd(and only second) Valentine Day together,coz he will be in tekong!!!!
What the....>_Sigh..I am so gonna HATE 14th Feb once again!No flowers,no chocos,no DATE!!
To think I even have my ideal bouquet in mind.

I realised one thing today.
I MAY not have leave my current job,or leave so fast,if not for D.B.
By some miracle work,she is actually on MC today.Say...There is still hope in earth!
Although today got alot of pple coming in to "challenge" my payroll skills,but I think I managed to do quite ok.
And I even kinda enjoy accomplishing what that falls within my scope.Not that I cant or dun want to challenge tasks beyond my scope but it feels gr8 to be clear of what u r doing!
So damn D.B spoils it all.It is so stress free without her!
Why must she comes here!

I also realised that I have alot of things in mind for December.
I must really sit down and get my list to dos and gets in order.
While it feels cool to be a lil unorganized (or what I call spontaneous sometimes),having things fall just in the right places is good.

Of coz money is the essence here.Without it,I wont be able to do alot of things.So flexible part time jobs are still on the hunt,although I admit I havent really been doing it.Well..coz' I dun wanna work at the expense of my christmas,as if having to miss ur Valentine is not bad enough.

You know..sometimes I just wish that...Ok,I dunno if u call that greedy,but I just wish that Jason can do some lil things sometimes to surprise me a lil and spice our relationship.Not that it is on the down hill now,but I am afraid that it may head that direction soon.
I have seen my fair share of dimming passion in relationships and wouldnt want that to be the reason for myself.

I dun think I've really ask for much..=/?
I dun even have a specific way in mind on how or what he should do to surprise me.
All I ask for is just that lil occasional extra TLC,extra pampering..you know.Which gal doesnt wish to be treated like a princess?

Like the small efforts of making breakfast,getting some lil soft toys or maybe just some ways that dont even cost a thing but can makes u feel really special.

I am not trying to drop some hints or telling Jason here that,"hey..it's time for ur actions!"

But I thought this is my blog,I dun have to be afraid to voice out any thoughts coz I probably dont need any comments too.I am merely putting my thoughts in words so one day I can read them again.

Sigh...Jason is never the type that is shy to say those mushy words.But..lately...I dun think I ever remember really HEARING them,technically that is.

Yes...somethings are "more than words".But women being women,still need to be assure sometimes.
I guess it works for the same as guys,as in men love hearing fluttering praises to brush up their ego.

Suddenly..I dun really feel loved. =<
You may think that is an unfair statement...so sue my feelings!

Although I have a clearer view of what I am gonna do in the later days..but I cant just really sit back and do nothing in the mean while.
I need to be doing something,somehow,somewhere.
Although yes...I think my mind badly needs a break,but if I am richer..I would probably agree.
I have never take a cent from my mum even though she struck some lottery.
And even gives allowances.
So other than the roof over my head,and sometimes the dinner,I proudly declared that I am on my own.

And so this independence side of me wanna shouts for more.
I kinda dream of being somewhere in a high seating in the corporate world.Being in control of my life and all.
But saying all that..I know I'm far from reaching it.Or never perhaps.

I am too vulnerable inside.I complains and whines too easily.I get depressed and soak easily.
And I know..I never ask for much in life.
Easily content is my way of life.

But..I know..I goes ard bitching and being envious of those who could have do much more at my age.Be it that they are studying,working,setting their own biz,on their own or still living off their parents...I know somewhere I wish I could have done better,if not for some restrictions in my life.Which I find in my case is still money.
Duh.

I find it really ironic and contradicting on how money is always one thing that sets me back but I dun feel that it is my priority in life.
I dun feel and really think that I need money to be happy.
I dun have to that kinda flithy rich to enjoy my life and feels better.
For I know is that some of those riches are some asses need to be kick sometimes.
Indeed that they can go ard touring,easily get the coolest gadgets,the branded clothes,or just do whatever they want..But I also know that without those money,I can easily DO MORE than them.
Think when those wealth are strip off from them,do you think that they can still enjoy their lives and do what they are doing now?
They would probably feel as bad as when my house was gone from the usual HDB flat to ash black nothing that time.
For all I've been through,I know I make not necessary better,but sure a stronger person than them.
Coz I live my life with that limited money,and will be able to do very much more if I have their kinda money.
Do you agree?

Well..maybe not.Coz words are just some medium in making urself better,bolder and justifiable.
You are,and I know I am,definitely not as va va voom(;p) as I am as a blogger here.

Well..while music paints the wall,words are just effects.
Remove all of them?
You are really nothing but a shadow.

I have enough said.
Tml is gonna be really busy.Still got the stupid DnD till wee hours.
I know it's one in that few hundred chances,but I kinda still wish and really wish that I get the camera.
And no worries,I will really just cuss the person who gets it,other than me.
Heh!

Came back from my cousin's housewarming.The house is the usual size of the HDB nowadays,but she makes it in kinda simple zenish style.BUT not zen enough.Something is lacking somewhere.And the bedrooms are so small..imagine that is the size or perhaps even smaller that we have to squeeze in next time.
Shivers....

My aunties are gg to Thailand next month for a week,lead by my uncle.
So nice..I really wanna join and wants Jason to come with me.
But first...MONEY!!
Sigh...guess I have to give up.I dun wanna leave without Jason coz he is gg NS soon.Although his BMT and everything is different from most guys,but...aiyah...dun want la.

Hope I can get a part time job,earn some quick money.That is more impt.
Can go next time.

(sigh...)

Sian that tml is monday.
Though it is only a week more..but I just hate to face Grace.Seeing her face is such a put off and spoils the first day of the week.Or simply make it worse.

-_______________-!!!

Good night.

Sunday is just the day for those slow lazy songs.So Keane would be ideal.Well..at least so far my winamp is still playing all those type of songs,like Jay Chow "Xing Qing",Garth Brooks "Lost in you", BSB "All I have to give", with occasional mis match songs though.

A tip for oat lovers or those who wanna eat oats.
Never try pouring Milo powder in ur oat.Or maybe in lil amount OR lessen ur condense milk.I must have pour in alot without looking.
While it taste gr8 like chocolate oat meal,it tastes too sweet at the same time.Imagine me having TOO sweet stuff for 2 days already.I think my throat is gonna vomit.But hell,i still finish the bowl coz very wasteful if i throw them away.And i have nothing else to eat liao.
Sigh..food..either go to waste or waist!How true!

I woke up...trying to recall the dreams.Kinda stupid and irrelevant as always but the dreams fade with time.I cant remember it now.
Haha..sometimes one's memories is really short,esp mine.
Like I TOTALLY cant recall what happen last christmas.
There we were at P.M trying very hard to recall what did we do last Christmas,but failed!
Kinda amaze us,how can we forget?
I tired very hard but can only recall that I gave him 3 Winnie the Pooh tins,of which contains 2 tins of home bake cookies,one hand sitch ugly duckling hankie.Hehe.
But I dun remember what he gave me liao...or maybe he didnt?

Hopefully I remember this Christmas.
I know I need to find a job..but really lazy to.No more office jobs...Am I gonna slack till next year.That would be very wrong!
Sigh~Feels like sleeping all day.

I woke up near 12 noon today and really feels like hibernating.Luckily I didnt join yng for her family BBQ and cycle though i did give it some tots last night.That would be more interesting than to go to my cousin's house warming.But guess mum would not like it if i let her go alone.
Well..just take it that I am there to entertain my cousins.But they have all grown up now that they dont need my entertainment.
To think I have baby sit each of them when they were crawling creatures.Haha..that's mean.

I recalled last night at the Esplanade Bay.It feels so sweet and nice to be under his cuddle and the music is there.

Hehe...

If only every date is like that.

Feels very full now..-___-~

What a warm night!It would be perfect if its raining or just cooling now.
I had a gr8 day!What about you?
I feel like blogging my whole day in details,so here goes...

Um..let's skip the work part.It is just boring and lately time at work seems to be freaking slow.The agony of passing each minute grows with my impatience to leave this company.Maybe it's partly becoz I have nothing much to do also.But I am not complaining about that.

When it's time for KO,I kinda zoom outta the office to catch bus to Somerset.While I'm waiting for my boo,I saw something which kinda amuses me.The sun was shining on strong,and there I stood trying to catch a lil tan when I sees 2 pigeons sun bathing as well!
Lol!
They were just sitting(realling lying down) and sun bath there!!SO cute!
And when Jason came..somehow the sun disappears.And the pigeons stood up.Haha!
Guess Jason takes the sun away~

Hey..he looked mighty good today.Kinda artistic and those rich guy look. *~*

So we went to Cineleisure's food court for our lunch.A cool and really just good looking couple sat besides us.I just think that English Rose looks naturally gorgoeus!I can hardly take my eyes off her.Keep sneaking glances at her.
She doesnt have much make up on.Her skin is smooth,pinkish and fair.Her hair is of natural curls and long.Though she didnt tie it in a very vintage style,it still look good on her.Her nose just of a right angle.
Those kinda really natural good beaut,reminds me of Jules.

And her partner is an ABC or some other asian mixed blood.Thank god it's not a mis-match!

We cont'd to sit down for a while,talked about a lil of Idols' stuff.Some other lil lil stuff that I cant remember before moving on to Taka.
Walked a lil before we went library to chill out.
That Hazelnut coffee is so damn sweet that I warn you NEVER try it.Though it later taste ok but i guess that's becoz ur tongue got use to the taste.Too much sugar makes u fat.And I really should have order some fruit juices or teas!

Browse through some books about chocolates and there he was sketching his ever fav -Thiery Henry.
Wait..did I detect some spelling error with that name?Oh well..it doesnt matter la.
Not my fav person.
Oh..during that period time..something happen.hehe.S-E-C-R-E-t!!!
^-*

After a long long time in the library,we finally moved on.Went to a funky toy shop(yea,it contains all sorts of mind games etc for the kids.But we dont even know how to play some.) one level down the library and lingered for a while.

Walked to PS to have PM.(pasta mania).He had his usual creamy chicken,though it is the oven baked creamy chicken he is after.And I had spicy chicken.It looks nice when our dishes came.The same pasta and style,just different colours!His cream is..of coz creamy colour and mine was red la~
We could have it hot before his stomach decides to give him some lil prob.
But hey...I can NEVER make those kinda biz outside.Feels uncomfortable and just cant do it in the public toilets.

After a fulfilling dinner,we walked off the calories by walking to Esplanade.We just walked all the way with some twists and so,and finally reached.
I loved music by the bay.Those singers,bands etc are much more better than SG Idol!

When we came,it was time for the last performer.Cat..something.A really warm 45 years old country singer.And her voice is beautifully warm!
SO she sang songs in that country style,engaging all the audiences.Though we dont even know some of the songs as it was a diff era but it is just so refreshing and relaxing to hear those kinda country jazzy songs.But we knew most songs la.It was those we learnt in the music song book during primary school times.
When she sings,it just makes you wanna sway ur body along to the melody!
One old uncle even danced publicly.So funny and cute!

We were sitting on the steps where I sat one level down him,so I can lean on him.Feels SOOOO good when he is just holding me swaying along and clapping to the rythmn.
Even though it is just really warm for us to cuddle so close when the weather is this warm!

The whole performance ended at 11pm,so we decided to go home on our own.If not he will miss his last bus.
And when i settled onto the bus,he still look so good from the window view.

*sigh~*
What a good date!
------------------------------------
Sometimes it just feels so right when this guy besides u is ur friend,ur buddy,ur bf all at the same time.

Sometimes I am just afraid that when we are too comfortable with every thing,we may tend to take things and each other for granted.And that is when friction occurs and even worser scenarios..

Sometimes I am afraid that my overly anticipation or obession with the future may becomes a burden to you,puts you off..or worse becomes our bummer in life.

But no matter how...I guess you will always fit into Shania Twain's "Still the one"
---

Oh...I like this song.."1st May".
Kinda forget the tune again liao..nvm..I know I like this song and know the title can liao.

night night.

This month is definitely a Watson month for me!
Bought some lil cosmetic at Watson today during lunch.I wonder how come pple can draw so well using that eyeliner.
Anyway just testing since Watson is having the big Christmas sales.
Hey...life is about pampering urself,esp if u are a gal.So dun complain.

Working is suddenly really good again.Without Grace much bothering me(I dunno why but thank god.I would hate to really HATE her though.Coz I never like hating pple)And me having nothing and just bitching about work and Grace's attitude with Eunice.Nothing else.

Looks like I am gonna go for the Staff's annual dinner.Seems fun anyway and I really hope (though doubt)that I will get that MP3 or digital cam!That would be so cool.Imagine my parting gift.Um...God...you hear me?
Haha..I am kidding.Really!
(but that would be so cool if I win. ;p)

My boo gave me 78/100 when I asked to be graded last night, and I am so x/!
I am just doing a honesty small psychological test invented by myself.
I wasnt even looking out for a specific grade or mark.Coz I believed that if you are really into a person,you couldnt even grade!
I mean..it is even unfair to grade a specific mark.Not like...you are beautiful,add 20 marks.You are gentle add 10 marks.You know how to kiss good add 15 marks.Hot bod 30 marks.Great sex 50 marks.
Duh!!!
It is just beyond that 100 marks.
Ok..even if you must give a certain percentage,I DEFINITELY expect more than the one you gave to her!
Maybe you dont remember but I DO!I am FEMALE,rem?
x(
78!78!78!is like peanuts compare to that!Grrrrrrr!!!And yesterday is Thanks giving.You should thank me for not ..erm...ok nvm.Should there be a day where we CAN celebrated Thanks giving,I will remember give ur dishes some special ingredients to GIVE THANKS!

It is TIME to fight on my self esteem!TIME to boost up!After so long,it is definitely TIME to get back!
This december it is time for MYSELF!I would slowly get a job which is relaxing.It doesnt matter how lil I earn YET!I would make time for Christmas planning.For his preparations to Army.For some health and getting back in shape.Hey!I am thinking of jogging...finally.;p
To get my weight back to MY own ideal.And alot more.
My objective?
To end 2004 in a HAPPY and self fufilling note.
Cheerios. :D

I lurrve applying mask on face,esp those peel off type.Although it is those cheaper one time use packets,but I still think it is quite effective.Your face just feels different upon use.(although my pimples are still there.When will the red spot go?Dont tell me they are gonna rent the space there for good.Pls..I dun welcome renters!)

Bes just mailed me his souveneirs when he was in the down under for army training.That's Sweet..though its really...ern..a golden spoon bought at the resort or something?haha.He didnt even remove the price tag.But I didnt mind any gifts,even if it is just a bookmark.It is always the thoughts that count.

Just in case you r wondering who is that.Well..Bes is my longest guy friend!!
We knew each other since we were 14 plus or 15?And the best thing is we have NEVER met once,nor really talk before.
We are just so comfortable with this distance and never once thought of meeting up or curious of each other's looks.
And really just NEVER ever harbour any special feelings for each other.Oh yes,he is special to me but always in a platonic way.
My relationship with this guy is the most pure and platonical(if there's such wrd) ever.
:)

I have decide that tml shall be a chill out day.
So jason,we shall just really chill out that the library cafe.Kinda hope it rained like that time.Heh!
And we shall stay till our butts hurt from sitting down.

That's all about it.
Think it is time to change my blogskin soon....

Adieus~

And so my last date of service is on the 7th Dec not 30th Nov.Kinda feel cheated and sian,coz I was SO elated and feel so free upon the thought of starting all afresh on a brand new but last month of the year.

Never feel so happy and really,just free for a LONG time.I think since I had graduated,I never feel like this before.
Perhaps mainly becoz I never really have a real direction in where I'm steering towards to and just feel really lost.I quickly embark on my job hunting only becoz I wanna earn my own money and be independent for my own expenses.
And I throw myself into jobs that I thought wouldnt be too challenging and is at least related to my studies.

Looking back...I wouldnt say it was all mistakes.I mean,yea,those jobs ARE mistakes.But whatI mean is...without doing all those HR jobs,I wouldnt get to know that I REALLY dun like office jobs AND now really know what I am gg to do.
Or at least I have a much clearer vision of what is ahead.

Of coz I could never make it without my fav pple ard like Yng and Jason.Kudos to all of u~

For the following one month,I am gonna look on those part time jobs.
And u know what?I just gave my no to the auntie working at the Soya Bean Shop at central.LOL>
Imagine I always eat my soyabean there.All are aunties and imagine me working there.

Lol...
But I am so ready to try out everything ELSE already and always wanna try working in a small FnB outlet.So cool yea?(Except their uniforms la)

Of coz I can always take my own sweet time to choose la.

Suddenly life is just so much...like LIFE!
Still got a week more to go.Hate to take anymore of D.B's nonsense.She ALMOST gives me craps again today.
#%^#%

Am I glad to resign?
Too bad I still have to finish all the closings before I can go.
Oh whatever...just hope that really NO mistakes this time!

Muuaaccckks~~

Where shall I begin?Have SO much to blog about....
ok..Yesterday.

*23rd Nov 2004*

We met at Far East.He bought the loops that me and Yng saw the day before for me.(coz I "made" him to.Hey..it's part of the deal.)
After buying fruits,we proceed to buy tickets.
My treat to SHUTTER!
Wha biam!!!I HAVE NEVER scream watching any movie.Even if it is horror flicks,I just shut my eyes and suck my breath.But I tell u that this movie is DAMN Fffffffffffffrrrrrrrreeeeeeakkking scary lo.And that is an understatement,i feel.
I screamed 3-4 times and for those parts I missed screaming is becoz i shut my eyes!
The directors are very smart.They flimed all the scary spots such as the bedroom,the bathroom,the classroom,the toilet,the car etc..all those typical spots whereby most shows would feature the ghosts or creatures.BUT in this show not the ghosts would appear in every spot,leaving u in suspense and totally shaking.
coz u keep thinking that the ghost is gonna appear there but it didnt,and some it really happen.
TOTALLY FREAK OFF!

If u r not into scary mood or have a weak heart or the type that will have nightmares,I suggest u give this movie a miss,though I think it is really good.
I give it 5 SHARP SCREAMS!

But that is what I hate abt ghosts stories.If it is just about any creatures,psychos,vampires etc,I wont be scare.Shivers*

Ok..after that movie,it rained big time.Having walking ard in taka,we decided to head to the library and have some cuppa.
It feels really romantic and nice.Imagine it is raining outside,you are sitting in a cool place,sipping espressos with ur boo.
I doddled a lil and so did he.I think mine looks way better.

But my heart gets heavier as the night darkens.I just dont feel free inside.Dont you just hate it when something keeps hanging and is bothering you.You jus wanna get it over and done with,be it what's the results.

Anyway we went to watch the Korea show .
A MUST watch if you are dying for some laugh!A sexual comedy that makes u cant stop laughing.
It is different from all those english comedies we watched.Perhaps it is an Asian product thus it jus feels different.
PLS Watch IT!
I give it a condom,bra,thongs,g string and nightie.
($%$@#%@$What kinda rating is that!!)Well..the nature of the show la. ;p

The night of our 16th month ends off with him helping me with the lines tml and giving a reassuring hug.

As such I wanna thank Irene,Yng,Bes and Jason for all the support!Thanks for being there and giving me the courage!
I love all of u....
`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

24 Nov 2004.

I TOTALLY cant sleep.My heart is pounding fast and I just cant close my eyes!
I keep watching the time and wishing that 6am comes fast!
I tried alot of methods.Praying for peace.Listening to the song recorded in my old hp.Try to relax.Sit out.Laze ard.But I just cant sleep.

I think I managed to doze off at 3 plus and only to be awake in less than a hour.
This is the first time that I lost my sleep!Never feel that terrible.

Lol.
But I guess the dark circles and all helps me in my show today.

I am a classic actress!sometimes I just have to take my hats off myself.HAha!!!!

Dont wish to blog more..actually have alot more to blog on..but very tired facing the comp.

Dear...Somehow I feel that we are not able to communicate without feeling a lil annoyed today.
I wish I can talk to u more but there is no time today.
Have alot to talk to u regarding EVERYTHING!

Have a gd rest first ok.
Yng..lemme know asap if we are meeting tml.would love to meet u.but if we cant,at least i can make plans for something else first.or maybe nothing la.
so call me yea.

Just some quick bloggy before I get ready to step outta the hse.
A quick lookback at yesterday:

After I have decided not to go work afterall,I went to Jason's house to hang out for a lil while and to tell him my finalize decisions.
I proceeded on to meet Yng for lunch.Boy..does it feels GOOD to hang out and shop during WEEKDAYS under the SUN!
That is something we are missing out for months!
We went to that halal store at Far East to eat and talked about alot of stuffs.Mainly D.B.
After doing some window shopping there,we went to Taka~
Spent the longest time in Watsons and I barely rem I bought that much of stuff from Watsons before.Haha.
All about health,skin,hair care products.Almost tempted to touch comestics.
But having applying the mask,I dont see my pimples vanish.Lol.Do I expect mask to work like some miracle creme?

Guess i gotta conceal it later.

Finally we hit back to TPY to see sinseh~
Hey gal...my mum is really worried for ur health.And she told me that nose inflammation is not something that can be taken lightly.Ask you not to drag things.
And she said that one look at ur face can tell u r really weak.So you OUGHT to quickly heal urself.
It is not about taking those tonics and nourishing products yet.Coz when ur body is weak,all these stuffs just dun work.After u have healed urself,then those tonics can take effect.
Listen to my mum,yea?Coz she has seen classic examples and by hearing...it is not nice stories.
And that makes me to be really worry for u too.
Hey..i've only got one YOU,so pls....take good care.maybe sometime later,i can accompany u for a full body check up.I know this may sounds a lil crazy but health is something that we dont wanna tamper with.

So tml..the show shall begins..
Kinda afraid of the later consequences,such as she decides to gimme hell of a time during the notice period I serve.
But I know what has to be done gotta be done.And it is better to be done over with asap.So tml morning is when I shall begin the whole drama.
Cant imagine what kinda reaction she will give.
Oh..whatever..God..help me tide over the crisis!
I can imagine that she..
wants me to leave immediately..
wants me to do till next year jan...
Pbbbttttt!
I take the former!

Thinking of that diana tan's email just makes me boil!bitch!
HR ladies are likely to be idiotic,esp those in 30s and is unmarried without BF.
U know...I doubt u will ever get one though.
T_T*

Sucks sucks sucks..thinking of those creeps makes those appearing in shudders less horrifying!

Oh..btw..I am gonna catch Shudders and Everyone has secrets later.
Hold for my movie review.

Happy 16th (+1) month,boo!

it feels so damn good to finally see the light of life after all long.but one mail from another HR bitch-Ms Diana Tan spoils it all for me.
What makes me forget how much I dislike her in poly and drops a mail asking abt AWS and even sounds so nice and friendly.
F-uck!Even if i am not ur fav student,isnt it only polite to even ask how r u,im fine to ur ex student.She bloody hell sounds so hostile in the mail that u feel like slashing her.
And this is the final lesson for me,I SHALL NEVER BE ASSOCIATED with ANY HR personnels or related person again!I HATE HR!
None of the HR bitches I met are humane.I am not even asking u to be nice to me,but a least..more humane!

WTF!
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Anyway..yes...I took MC and leave for tml.I guess there is no pt in rewriting my whole day again coz the only persons that will read my blog are probably only Yng and Jason.

And YES..I DECIDED TO QUIT!I cant stand any of the shit.Call me weakling or coward or lousy.(all 3 if u want.)But there is no point in working when I am not even happy.
I am living at the prime of my life and I wanna do something I will enjoy.Furthermore I have no commitments like kids..etc..this is the best time to do what i wanna do.
I dun wanna be those that regret later in my life not having doing this or that.

I am at risk not receiving my AWS as well.But if those few hundred bucks can buy me back my life happiness,I would gladly trade.I know Jason wouldnt.haha.
But u know...or u should know that Money never plays 'God' to me.

If i am rich,yes..I can do more things and enjoy life even better.
BUT if i am rich but at the expense of being happy,I would rather live day by day eating bread then to feel so sad eating decent meals.

You read me?
All i ask for is peace and simplicity in my life.therefore i always dream of living in new zealand etc..owning a own farm etc..u know those country like dreams.
I said that a millionth time.lol

And it is about time that I am taking steps to realise it.Although it will never be in new zealand...etc..but at least I STILL have a peace of mind and I am happy.

Maybe all these are just my defences for wanting to quit teh job...
but...at least NOW I still judge those excuses as being justified.

What say you?

Great..my uncle just swayed my determination.
He asked me not to hand in my resignation that early,at least hold it after the AWS.He is right in a way,what if they decide not to gimme my AWS afterall?
Is that possible?
Maybe I will email Ms Diana Tan to ask.

I wanted to blog about yesterday but now my entire thoughts are about leaving this company and getting a new life after that!
Can feel the fire burning inside me.Wanting to break free and all!

Yng..can you imagine?
See..if I am let off next year..we could do the things we want!
Like planning for enrolling to NIE...like maybe gg for a holiday together...like doing alot of other gurlie stuff together..like..gg to clubs secretly.??^^ and so much more.

and Jason..can you imagine..
that I would no longer feel sad upon parting every Saturday night?That I can really enjoy myself and feel so light and happy when we are out together?That you will never hear anything that is associated to Scott Adam's comics?That you wont hear me asking.."how??~~" and seeing me looking sad?

All these..makes me wanna quit RIGHT now that I dont care about what AWS and so!
I just wanna be HAPPY and live happy!
To me..that is so much more impt than having that miserable F-up hard earn money..all at the expense of my own happiness!

Money never plays a big part in my life!Yes..i do wish to satisfy my materialistic aspect of life sometimes.I love shopping for new clothes,bags and shoes.Coz this is every girl's ..erm...inbulit in most girls' character.
But..I can live without all these!I CANT live without being happy with myself and my own life.

All these are so wonderful...a life that is finally coming...in my way...
It is just the matter of time that I execute the route.
Depends on how D.B treats me...Depends on how much longer i can hold..Depends on how much strength I have left...and depends on you giving me how much support to hold on.

I have been thinking.....
It is NOT right that I should continue living my life this way.It's been hanging long enough and lately the urge is getting stronger and stronger.
I feel like at any moment of time this month,writes a resignation letter, gives one month notice and say good bye.
It is very UNHEALTHY if I keep on living like this.
With a piece of heart that is so dull,sad and worrying always.It is a kinda fear,burden that is getting heavier as time pass.I could not sleep in total peace and hence always wake up feeling unrefresh.
I feel sick!

It is just e matter of time as of when will I quit!
I thought of hanging on till mid next year coz I fear that should I cant get into NIE,there is still a backup career for me.
But now..I am not gonna hold that long.I will be turning myself to Woodbridge sooner or later.

I wanna take a break for good.
Maybe a short holiday or something next year.Mum and dad is gg back to China after new year next year.If i quits on Jan,I have a good mind of joining them and Yng is interested in coming along.

But what is holding me back is Jason,if that is my plan.Unless he goes to NS before Feb,if not I dont think I would wanna leave before he enrolls in.
Anyway this is not very impt,I can always take a break elsewhere with Yng.

I think ..no..i dun think but I WILL quit coming next year.
I will hand in my resignation after my confirmation date on the 26th,just in case she den decides to withdraw my lil increment.I will cook a damn lame sad excuse as my reason and nothing is stopping me from leaving.
I will do until december final closing,which ends on Jan 7th or 8th den I will say good bye.

I wanna take a short break before plunging myself into another career which will leads me to regret again!I dont wanna do what I OUGHT to be doing for once,but do whatI should be doing!
I didnt have any break at all and I badly need that.
Then I will slowly plans what I wanna do.
Get into NIE,doing what I like doing.
Like picking up my cuisine etc.:)

I am still so young and I wanna enjoy what I am doing!
That is right,right?
I am sure Jason and Yng will support me,right?
Suddenly I feel very much relieved thinking of all these.Feel so much lighter and happier.
I have never been clearer than now.

Though it is still one more month,but at least now...I see a light in that long dark tunnel.

That settles..tml..I will carry on doing my work..
Then these few days I would project a very sad,vexed image.Then come month end,I would talk to D.B and insist on my resignation!Now that is the tough part!
Then I will still happily get my AWS and one month more pay.Then after the final closing,I will pack my stuff and go.

I dunno how life is gonna be afterwards.For better for worse,this is life and I wanna experience it all.Dont ask me to think it through again,I wont!

Agh............

It is raining and I should be sleeping coz I gotta wake up early tml.But I decided to blog for a lil while before I foresee my pc's death.
I HATE it when my brothers use my computer.Something BAD is bound to happen to it sooner or later.
And now...my pc's screen colours is fading and the mouse is "crippled".
Sigh..I pray hard mum still rem that she THOUGHT of buying a new comp for me before I turned it down that time.*cross fingers* >_<
And then I WILL make sure my brothers cant lift a finger on it,not without my prescence.
Dominating!Yes I know,but I am sick of my pc crashing every time they use it!

Argh..dont wanna blog about that D.B now,she is far too UNimportant to occupy the space in my blog everytime.Although I know I am in for something really bad coming monday.God...please..help me. x<
Save me from that evil hands!

Went out with Yng.
Hehe...we were very UNimpress about the same thing.See..I am not being biased but objective.
Though the dream was realised...but...something is lacking.
Efforts recognized though.But never the attitude.
I marked it a D grade.

We went to PastaMania @ Suntec for dinner.Was gazing at the beautiful face all the time.Hmm..Mine pales in comparision.Coz of the work,stress and all.I am not jealous but envious.And do you know you are only envious of a person coz you really like him/her?
I love Yng to bits!

We talked alot..
Relationships,life,work,gossips etc.It is those kinda gal heart to heart tok b/w me and Yng that I have been missing out for a long time.

She has been unhappy and jaded.But thank God that she has a good head on her shoulders,that I needn't worry too much.
But still...this aint the way to go for long.
Gal..just wanna let you know that I WILL ALWAYS be there for you when you need me.
Cheer up,ok?
*smiles*

Suddenly I recalled what I did for last christmas eve and christmas.
This christmas.....
suddenly seem colder.
Dunno why.Izzit becoz we started working?
It is raining heavily now...
if it starts snowing..it would fit our mood now.
A lil tired,a lil empty,a lil vexed,a lil nonchalent,a lil everything.
This is different from being pessimistic.
It is ..suddenly..like the clock stop ticking somewhere.And everything is kinda lost in space..and you are only dreaming in memories.
Dont really feel like waking up though.

Good night,all my loves~

Some bloggy at work.
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Performance appraisal.
Phffft!
Hello..I don’t care what good comments you have for me,but just keep your fat double chin from moving when you think you have any smart ass comments about me,
It is not that I cant accept "bad" comments but it has to be see where or who it is coming from,
Maybe I am being exceptionally biased here,but I really can never like you!
Talk about prejudice,so what?
Don’t be too smart and set your goals till the next half year and so.Thinking of what giving me more and more responsibilites,sending me to more HR and payroll courses.(omg!) etc.Coz I vowed that I WILL not stay up till next year.
(NIE,here I comes!!)
And don’t assume everyone NEEDs to stay back after 0530pm.I am not paid and I don’t enjoy staying back with pple like you.What is staying back to work?Come on,I had stayed till wee hours before but I wouldn’t mind coz I enjoyed it.
But if it is with you,forget it!
As long as I finish my work,I am OFF!
Had a good mind to quit next year straight.The most I SHALL stay is up to Jan 2005.
I am gonna cook up a damn lame excuse for quitting and I don’t care!
No one in the right mind would stay here for long!
X<
This column is reserved esp to D.B
11.48am

I became very busy once D.B returns.Why doesnt my prayers work?I just wanna have a peace of mind!But these few days are the more crucial ones,hope nothing happen.
She has the nerves to ask me if I would like to come back on Saturday to do the payroll.Hello?Even if there is a subsituition of half day off,I dont think I wanna sacrifies my SATURDAY lo.
So what I get a half day off,we are talking about a FULL Saturday le.
When I know she is gonna say that,I was thinking."Dont you dare or I punch you!"And I pulled a virtual punch.
I just turned her down saying that there are things that need to be see to at home.Say..this is a world class excuse for me now.*smirks*

Had sandwiches for lunch and intends to go out to walk,and burns some calories.Unexpectedly Hu Jing,a bqt sales confidential asst,wanted to join me when she heard im gg out for "lunch".
Was caught by surprise as we hardly converse at all.
And so I had my second round.-_-"
But it is very nice leh...like shark fins soup mian xian.VERY nice!Sometimes guilt can get u satisfaction too.But guilt surpass that satisfaction.Dismay!
But I am kinda paiseh to turn her down.Besides she is a very nice lady.
My first impression of her is that pretty lady Hu Jing.(from China)

At closer look,she aint really that pretty and kinda look older than she actually is.Guess it is the work that's draining her off.
Conversation is natural and im glad that im not the only one that dreads coming to work.
At LEAST she doesnt have D.B to boss her ard,but her work load is significantly tougher and heavier than mine.
Well...2 different scope of work so cant really compare la.

Shucks!I bited my lips and now I foresee the growth of ulcers.
Sob!

Yng got molested/
Dont think I should mention the details but it is nothing too serious la.
Dont imagine!

I dunno if I should think she is lucky that it is not an ah pek or some ugly toads.
But again..so what if you are a Greek God.So low down jerks.PERVERTS!Fuck off!
I wont even give a F if you are some Johnny Depp lookalike but a low down pervert!

Johnny Depp...yum.Opps!
But really..Johnny Depp is a SEX symbol!So god damn sexy,senssual and alluring!Oh my god...Can you imagine him doing some latin dance?Dirty dancing with him?God..think I will lose it! LOL!

Mum bought me a braclet and necklace!!!!
That is so rare!Even though it is some sort of a addition gift,like you spend a lil more to get those gifts when you buy something.But I really appreciated it!
Love you mummy!
Muacks!

And...well..Dear..I just miss u so much!
Love you and take good care!

Some bloggies at work.
==================================================================

This is my last few hours of freedom before D.B returns from hell.
Sigh!
No point complaining about it over and over again.I just hope she will learns not to give us CRAPS!No matter what she does,I will learn never to be grateful to her.
I don’t usually be so nasty and mean to others,but she is worth all these efforts!
Lately Jason hasn’t been msging much.
I am not angry but feel somewhat a lost child scratching her head,and thinking what is wrong,where has everyone gone?
Everyone is somewhat,somehow outta touch.As if we live in different zones in this entire universe.
Am I being isolated?
Or everyone is just confining themselves in their own time out zone,including myself?
Nah…Let’s skip this.
If I were to express my love for soyabean milk,I would tatoo it on my forehead and be a vivid supporter of Nutrisoy Reduced Sugar Soya Milk.Haha.Bought a packet and been drinking it since yesterday in my own lil cubicle.Wait a min..there isnt even a cubicle.If there is, I would be safe from the prying eyes of D.B.
Come to think of it,I really enjoy calling her Dogbert.She looks exactly like that D.B in the comics,except less likeable and much more bigger size of coz.
Didn’t sleep well last night.Or really…There isnt a night when I can get my full rest without my mind worrying about the next day.
Sigh..whatever.

Sometimes I feel like nothing when I did a self comparision with her.
I know that there is nothing to compare,but I guess it is normal also.
I dun "dislike" her anymore.What's left is only more and more curiosity about her.
Dun ask me..I dunno why.
I really wanna know why is she like this,how is she doing etc..and maybe become her friend though this is impossible.
Dun ask me..I dunno why.

She is so smart,so much independent and alot more than me.Kinda feel inferior but that doesnt makes me dislike myself.I just wish I can do better.Not necessary better than her,but at least not a klutz like I am now.

Sometimes I feel very ignorant and stupid,y'noe.Did you take away my brain cells or I just dun have them?

I used to think I am better than her in every aspect till I read more.
Sigh...
Dun ask me..I dunno why.

Dun assume you know who I am talking about too,you may be wrong.Oh...other than Yng,of coz.

Still feel kinda nauseous.Maybe it is not the crab,coz I ate lil.Maybe it is the sauce that really makes me dip for more.
Oh...serves me right...*turns blue...*

Kinda feel nauseous after eating the crab.
Oh..serves me right!

Some bloggies at work...
Last day to enjoy such leisure before Dogbert returns tml.
Always praying she never will...=/
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http://www.grapheus.com/Plants/Plants-Michelia.htm

Michelia - Very interesting trees and shrubs of the Magnolia order; mostly from Asia and China. Little known in our gardens as yet, excepting one kind, which is grown in conservatories. They are only likely to succeed in the southern most favoured parts of the country
Cant find the meaning of Michelia,other than the fact it is really a plant. But I swore I saw it from a name book?That is if my memory didn’t fail me.
Well..better that than Rose.=/
Jason spelt this name as Michiela in his hp.I thought he spelt wrongly,but he said he prefered it this way as it sounds French.
Michiela…not bad too.
Yawns..my shoulders are aching.
Tonight’s sleep would be a less peaceful one as Dogbert returns tml afternoon.
Believe it anot,I am still praying secretly by some miracles I wont see her till I leave this company.
I shall now label myself as a embarrassing accidents prone mich,or just simply a klutz.
I had myself knelt in public TWICE!
So embarrassing that I would rather not blog about this yesterday till it really happened this morning again.
WTF!
Yesterday was a rainy one,and I kinda just skidded,and ta da…I knelt on one knee right outside Concourse.Quickly get out and pretend nothing happen and walked on.Bloody F!
And today..as im walking to the cake shop,there’s a small flight of stairs,right?I dunno what’s on my mind and I missed one step and..Voila!I really just knelt down,as if I am begging for mercy.
This is really %#^%^!Couldn’t care less and quickly adopted the same attitude as yesterday but really..I wondered how many pple are laughing over it.
I swear shall there be a next time,I would really just curse out aloud!
Next…
I wondered what’s the world doing right now?
Havent got Jason’s msg since last night 8 plus.And his msg is,"stop staring at the hunky me…!"
I knew that was a joke coz I am kinda obesessed with that photo yesterday.Couldn’t stop admiring it.But it’s ok now,I mean im ok now.
There is supposingly a dinner b/w me and Yng,but dunno what happened to it.
Hope she is fine..with that.Frankly speaking…I wish Simon is a good bf to her.
I wonder how is Von right now?I hope she is not that impulsive enough to give up Andy though partially I understand how she feels.
I wonder how is Irene…but guess she just have the upper hands anytime.A gal who NEVER has anything wrong in her entire 21 years.
I wonder how is Yin?A fine gal who is so innocent,naïve,straightforward,sweet and cute.Though that poor RQ never gets her love,but I hope she will find someone as good or better.
I wonder how is WS?Must be blissfully in her own world and her new found bf.*sigh*J
-----To be Cont’d 12.58pm

Ok…To cont’…
I guess dear is feeling quite distraughted now.
I have no right to comment on his family but I knows it hurts.A haunting sad past.
Everyone has their weak moments and hopefully there will always been another one at least to pull them up.
All I wanna say is that,dear…We only got one life to live.It is natural to be hooked by some unwanted past but we shall never stay there for long.Remember I said that we cant always go back and make a brand new start but can always start from here and make a brand new beginning.
You cant change what had already happen…dear..why not start making a difference now and in a future?
And that I will be here for you like you always been here for m. =)
Parents and children..
How hard it is to strike a mutual understanding b/w them?Ironically is the fact that the child is part of the parents.
Maybe it is becoz of cultures,mind gap,thinkings,age gap and..undesirable incidents..Well…
But I guess….I really wanna believe that no parent wanna hurt their child right in the start.
I guess this is the fundamental of love.
No…I am not making a specific comment on anyone’s case..Am just stating a general thought. ~.~

Anyway I am now gonna talk about another issue.
My past relationships.Noone really loves talking about the past(unless it is happy),but I just feel like coming clean once more.
Here’s a confession to each and every one of you.Not exactly in order
(although they never get to read it,but that’s the reason I am blogging it down.Ironic!)
Benny:
He started out to be my internet pal.We progressed from chatting on net, to exchanging emails, to conversing over the phone and finally meet after a long long time.
We went out for 2,3 or 4 dates in total.But till I knew he liked me,I dropped the pole and fled.
I am so sorry,Ben.
Though we did keep in contact for a short while after the whole thing.But I guess we never can return to what we were as time drifts us apart.
Junyong:
This is a bullet train fling.He is Zhiwei’s friend.
We met each other while I was meeting Zhiwei for coffee,and he joined us for a short while.
I cant exactly describe the kinda impression I had for him,but it was something like…"you are nice,I like you but I love someone else.I did not like you enough to persue a next step and really…I dun think we are fated to have a next step.." kinda thingy.
Just hope he is doing well now.Saw him at Zhiwei’s friendster.
Dunno if he will realise I am there and add me as well.That is if he still regards me as a friend.
Oh well…doesn’t matter.J
Wilson:
This is another far too nice guy.We only went out once after my cousin’s incident,which freaked me out!
Actually he confessed his feelings even before we meet,which kinda bemused me.
I dun believe in virtual love/feelings.
But he is really nice and never overstep the order.I guess he kinda know that I didn’t see him in that manner so he never persued further.
Last contact him thru sms some months ago when I stopped and didn’t reply him coz I am watching my beloved training. =p
Xianghao:
Now this is one funny guy.One year my junior, and I tot I played the role of sister to him.Y’noe,consoling him,encouraging him to persue that gal and so on.Then we lost contact and regained it some time later.
All things went well till he finally decided to turn around and tell he likes me.
Almost scares me off.
That day when we met,I was so ..i dunno..freaked off that I call my friend,Zhihuang and dragged his hands going off,pretending we have something on.
Well…Sorry. =A mysterious smser:
Well…erm…I dunno who you are,but thanks for thinking I am "pretty" enough to catch ur attention. :P
Surprise you didn’t follow up…it is rare of pple who dare to msg.
Thank you~
An anonymous guy
Well..this one dedicated Gareth Gates..forget the title..song to me.Rem singtel have the promotion which allows you to dedicate songs?It is either you did not leave a msg or really I hung up before the msg can be played.Opps.
Anyway..nice song.You make me fall in love with the song for a short period of time.
Thank you~
Si wei:
Now..this is one big mistake I have ever made!
I dun wanna go back to how we meet,how we somehow ended up together.But I admit it IS my fault for how things became.
I shouldn’t have let things dragged longer and longer and hurt you.
Steven:
Whatever I had just blogged to Wei is exactly what I wanna say to you as well.You are even more nicer than Wei.
But…really…
I never love any one of you.I was in love with someone else then.
I owed two of u the biggest apology.
Ah man:
Another chef.He never said he liked me..but sometimes things can be tell without words.I could be wrong and be glad to be.
I am not sorry as in how sorry I was to Wei and Steven,but…well..you are truly an uncle to me. ;p
I had my fun times with all the chefs then.I feel like I am surrounded by a grp of doting brothers.So never did I expect that things were never that simple.
Anyway..it is all of the past..Just hope all of u are doing well now,esp Ah Heng,my brother. =)
Yes..as of to date,I still rec wei and steven’s smses some months back.
But I never replied..coz I believe what is the end should be ended.Or really it shouldn’t even get started.
Alvin:
Now this is my cousin.Someone I adore as a brother since young.The feeling is strange coz I adore him as a brother and not as a brother at the same time. Guess our age is too close.
Everything went well till that day of violation.Nothing happened but my adoration for him will never be the same again.Or never will be there again.
I just hope he cherish his gf now.

Daren:
Another SNAG,another I called brother.He is so sweet and nice,that I couldn’t imagine that he is single.
We lost contact once but somehow regained.
He is always there when I am down.Though we never met but I think I am really comfortable with the distant.
As I had mentioned,I dun believe in virtual love/feelings.I dunno how 2 persons who never met and spend time with each other can actually developed feelings.Even if there is,I know it aint ..erm..as real as you really spend time with him/her physically.
I never doubt or has the mind of laughing at you coz I know each feeling,no matter what kind,is precious.Esp when you have the courage to confess,coz I dun.
I dunno if he reads this anymore,or read this before coz I did tell him of my blog before.
But really..if you did,I just wanna say that you are still my dear brother.
I think I left someone out…I guess it doesn’t matter.That is a mutual one..just that fate aint enough and I am now glad nothing happen.
…..
So finally to those I loved.
Dunno if I should mentioned names,oh well..I guess I shouldn’t make any effort in detailing.It is very tiring leh.
There are only 2 persons.
Just wanna say…well..I wished I have the courage to say.
I had been through hell for u 2,esp the latter.
But those memories you gave were the sweetest.
I guess it’s fate.
You will always chop a special place somewhere in my memories. =}
And that you will always be someone I will be praying for in my heart.
For health,for safety,for happiness.
And so..those were the past…And to my present.
He is someone who surpass any of the guys I had mentioned.Someone very ordinary yet I find myself praising him to sky high or jump to his defenses if anyone were to ask about him.
Someone who makes me angry and yet I never remember what about the incident when we reconciled.
Someone that I keep mentioning over and over till you are sick of hearing/reading.
Someone whom is more than words.
You know who you are.
Love you lots.

Some bloggies done during office hours.
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It is so sick trying to look busy and occupied when you are not,but again it is my second last chance of doing so before that Dogbert comes back.
Yawns…
I just dislike working here.
Feel very bloated now…for these few days.Been eating too much,tummy grows.Sob!
Tell me abt the misery of being a gal….L
Swears that I gotta lose that!!!By some miracles.
Maybe go chant some spells.
The whole office is left with Stoneage and me now.
It is DeaD!!!
How long can YOU stand working in such a dead environment.And stress comes back when Dogbert is back.
Really cant wait to get the F outta this shit!
And I know I said this so many blardy times that you must be sick of reading it.
Actually I really feel like disclosing my blog to all of my friends.
It is not very fun just typing my own thoughts away and noone is sharing it.
But again…I dun wanna disclose it at the same time.
Oh..whatever..shall do what I am feel like doing then.
Hardly thinks too much for most things, and then thinks too much for some things ;p
Yawns…while u r reading..intro me some funky or interesting websites that I can surf.
Drop me a msg at friendster den.
Malevolence_angel@yahoo.com
4.29pm.
one more damn hour to go
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Oh my god…I dunno if you agree,but I really really dig that photo of his taken 2 years back.Didn’t know he will look so good in blond.
I cant help but keep looking at the photo,man.Makes me drool. =P
Yesterday is not a very good date,as in there are several incidents that spoiled the day.But nevertheless,I still enjoyed the day with my boo.
I came to his house and we had breakfast at the nearby coffeeshop.
After breakie,we went up to his house with him trying to connect the bluetooth.Think it is my phone.Damn…still cant upload those pics in my phone. L
We spent a few hours lazing ard before finally setting off to ECP.Guess what?His dad came back just as I were to step out.Was stunned for a few seconds before realising that that should be his dad.Kinda pai she though.
On the bus,I questioned him a lot on his past.Hmph..so many gfs.Haha.Anyway I was just trying to ease my curiosity.Dunno why,can tell he doesn’t enjoy questioning though.But..no harm la.Hehe.
And then..the stupid mich did it again!I dropped my farecard on the bus.Strangly speaking,I wasn’t abit worried or upset.But it was him who quickly dialed the tibs company etc,and took a cab down to the interchange.We found the card on the bus.Haw.
If I were alone,I would probably cuss and swear and buy a new card.
What am I gonna do without him.Thanks dear;)
Finally to ECP,after a sinful dinner at Mcdonald..we rented bikes to cycle.
Look..my plan is to cycle in the sun and get some tan.By the time we reached there,the sun had set.
This aint all. 5 mins after we cycled(or less than that), it started to pour. Duh…we end up waiting for 30 mins in the shelter.
Jason kept asking me to slow down..??But isnt that speed very normal?Leisurely cycling?haha..think you shoot mtv ah?
The day is more or less about this.Kinda hate it when it ended.
It is funny how I find myself falling in love with him.It is funny how gd looking he has become to me.It is funny how impt he is to me now.I guess…I am ‘accidentally in love’ ;)
12.01pm

My Hero~
Mich^^

A nice Sunday.
I bought 3 shirts from FOX.Hehe =D
Two of my cousins were there,and I say cousin Wen Feng is so adorable.A lil shy sometimes but is really..cute!
But if he is my kid,I would spend more time teaching him.Cant be help when my auntie is uneducated so cant help much with the kids' homework.
My nephew and him are of the same age,just that my nephew cant really converse as well as my cousin.But my nephew can recognize all the alphabets and my cousin cant.

Tml I plan to go to his hse,buy him breakie.And he requested for carrot cake.Some really "healthy" choice huh?
I wanna go ECP cycle.
So..pls ..sun..do me a favour.

Good night!

Ohh..I love this blogskin.Uptown gurl...haiz..Sometimes I wish to satisfy my materialistic side more.And it would be really fun to do it at the prime of ur life.Which human doesnt???Of coz other than those rich.Damn!

Hey..Yng,Kai nee got bf le..introduced by Bingxian one.Not bad ma.Hehe..and yes,our dear Perisi got herself a hunk too,picture seem like la.Mayeb you know too.

I just LOVE Sunday afternoon.It is just too peaceful,no matter what kinda weather it is.
Kinda regret buying my new low hip jeans.Whenever I sit down,it shows my butt crack.And then I realise I have got big hips.:(

Mum says later go out together.Dunno go where.If she wants near,I would suggest Bishan.I doubt she would wana go far either,though I really wont mind la.

Ate that tong luo sao Jason bought(the anpang Xiao Ding Dang eats) for breakfast.Actually it really aint not nice.I find it too sweet.The traditional an pang taste better anytime.
Ate an apple just now.
Decided not to eat more coz I have been eating way too much lately.
That explains my tummy.
Discipline,discipline!!

What a long Saturday,but again..how fast it pass.
My day begin with an very embarrassing note,which I dont wanna mention again,doing absolutely nothing at the office the whole day.

Met my friends to go RQ's hse.
Man..I REALLY miss them.It just feel so gr8 when the bunch of us sat down and talk about everything.Each other's life,working,relationships etc.Boy..it feels good to gather with them.
And it really makes me miss school VERY much.
Almost seem like yesterday when we were all sitting down at the same lecture hall dozing away.
Miss them so much.
Sigh...if only we can work together...
I mean it really makes you wanna sigh,tear and yet feel not sad about it, seeing each of us taking our own route in this journey of life.
I just wish that we will never lose contact,never.

Of coz the point whereby we talked about relationship is more exciting.
First..I am so relieved and glad that Irene is so clear minded.
I am worry Yvonne would give up a good stable relationship for someone who can provides her temporary sparks.

I mean which couple at some point of their relationship would feel that there is no more sparks in their relationship?I guess it is really how both of us really deal about it,and never taking each other for granted.

But I guess...at certain angle,WE can all understand how Von feels.Afterall we are all so young.

Tell me...if at one point of ur relationship,you find yourself being attracted by another person and knows that him/her is interested in you too.You are so young and is really not obliged to stay with each other for the rest of your life.What would you do?

Love is a gamble sometime.
I guess...no matter what you choose to do,it is all written in the stars.
We may say good bye,we may stay stronger than ever...We may regret,we may not...
This is life...Nothing is perfect and smooth.
Often we leave the world with some regrets,just hope we didnt leave with hatred.

........Bah..What am I talking about.

Anyway I proceeded on with the family dinner.Well..it is just a dinner with all my aunties,uncles,cousins,and a nephew.(who is so.....um..hard to control,but is really sweet when he kissed all of us good bye.Aww...kids..)

Anyway I am kinda surprised that my cousin Alvin and his gf are still together.I rem' the last time he told me they were kinda...I dunno la.Anyway was...kinda not very close with him since the last incident.Gross..
I used to adore him,as in how I would adore a brother.Well..I dunno if he is glad to see me with a bf now,but I dun care too.I am glad to let him know I have a bf now.

Hmm...
Ireneplans to get married at 20th May 2007..represents I love you.
So nice....
2007...I am only 23.
Sigh...Will I be able to get marry at 24??=/

But thinking of marraige is sometimes nothing but a peice of paper that seal your status.
Like Yin said...nothing is secure these days.Look at Irene and Von's examples...
men...

Who is willing to lay down their life and tell me that men wont change?
I wont even dare to say Jason wont change.At least not now..but who dares to say about the future.
Much less about myself.

So Von is right about that sometimes we shouldnt think too much for the future and too much for others.You never know if you'll get to see the sun tml,you dont wanna leave with the thought of ,"I wish I done this or that earlier."
You dont wanna think too much for the other party and end up missing that opportunity that might lead you to another path of your life.It may be good or bad,you'll never know.

So come to think of it..it is not only love that is a gamble.
Life is.
We are often stuck in a junction whereby we dunno which path to take.And when we eventually walk on one,we may regret or maybe not.
But one thing is we can never make a U-turn,even if we did...things will never be the same.

There are so many aspects in my life and each has a different path presented to it.No matter where I go,I will feel confuse,maybe angry,maybe sad..but life goes on.
And as far as I am concerned right now,I wanna move on with the support of my family,friends and my boo.
And I,too wanna be ur support =)

Love ya~
Btw I hope I wont wake up till 10 plus 11 tml...^@^

Working without Dogbert is a BREEZE~
I could do what I want as at my own pace.For example I could print out the labels of the punch cards at this point of time,without having that fat dogbert commenting on why did I do so early.Feel like punching her then!
But probably my punches would rebound~ =p

Damn..i feel so unheathly and fat and full now.Like every other gal.
Sometimes my ambitious spirit gets the better of me.
Suddenly I wanna get a part time job that allows me to work after ..work.That I would be earning slightly more and would be MORE independent than where I am now.
Jules is definitely someone I look up to all the time.
She is just damn beautiful,delicate and..never a flaw I see in her.
She is an angel to the eyes of many,and me..is just one of those earthly beings gazing at her glow.
But am really glad and lucky to befriend her and was once her school one of the other half hanging together.

Tml we are going to RQ's bday party before I head for my family dinner,with my boo.
Really wish to meet up with the gals for a short while before heading to RQ's house.But what if they cant make it..where shall I head?It's a few hours before the actual meeting time.
Shopping?Sigh..sian.

What did I wanna say?Gee...I forgot.
Feels really bored.

I read a few blogs and realise that gals in their 20s think and feel more or less the same.Everyone is just the same,except different things happen at different time.

At one pt of the time,you are depressed,happy,excited,angry etc..And the way we react and feel is about the same.Just that we dont realise it and most likely think we are the only ones feeling like this then.

So what makes us so special?

I dunno..I just think that I am still so young and I REALLY wanna achieve something or live more than life while I still can do it!
What is holding me back?
Money,environment,family??
But I dunno what I wanna achieve at the same time.
I just know that I WANT and I should live more than this now!

This week's movie, we talk about "The Forgotten"
The directors of The Sixth Sense,whatever their big names are,make it again by creating big bizarre tales,keeping u in high suspense,not forgetting to freak you off your seats with the unpredictable next move.

Now imagine that one part of your memory that you hold very dear to is being erase off.Their existence is just wiped off from your life and everyone else who is connected to them.
Of coz it wouldnt hurt if you dont remember,but what if you did yet noone else does?

This story talks about a mother's son whom they all thought was killed in a plane crash was forgotten soon after.Noone else remembers them except the mother whom firmly believes that her son did exist.

She met another father whom too forgotten about the existence of his own daughter but later remembers her.
Together they search for the forgotten,believing they were alive.

But where could they be?Who got them?Who can erase their memories like that?And most importantly why did they wanna do that?OR it has been in their imagination all the time that they have children?Well,you never know.

This story is totally cool if not for the stupid trailer that gave the story away a lil.
Nonetheless, a brillant work.
I gave it a cup of peanuts,cashew nuts,mixed cocktail nuts, and a cup of corns.;p

Till the next movie,this has been Mich with you on Pop In The Theater~

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DUH!!!!!I will never make it to the media line.Haha.
But really that is a good movie!
Talk about suspense~

I would never want any part of my memories to be erase...esp I could be such a nostalgic kinda person sometimes.
I never wanna forget my family,friends and esp Jason.

But forgetting someone is not so much of a pain.It is really scary and painful if you remembers someone that everyone else forgot.Shudders...

At this moment of time,I wish Dogbert is forgotten..LOLx.

I wish I am some sorceress.
Nope,not a witch.A witch sounds too ugly,old haggard and ...is a old maid?
Sorceress sounds more powerful,sexier and just right.

Now if I am one,I would mumble some ancient scripts and have....

My room to be clean up instantly.
My body fats at the wrong areas to vanish into thin air.
My bank figures never seem to drop no matter how much i slash my cards.
My skin to be flawless and the tone I want it to be.
My hair to be smooth and silky and never a day of BHD!

>Next...
I would have Dogbert to stay at where she is RIGHT NOW for the next 1 year.
I woud have my pay to increase by another 100 or so till I leave.
I would sucessfully get into NIE and then ENJOY what I am doing den.

>Next...
I would bless all my friends to have a gd bf/gf and be happy always.
I would bless Yng to have the health and happiness in her life.
I would bless my family to be safe and sound,and happy always.
I would bless those whom I had hurt once to find someone better of coz.
I would bless those whom I had loved to be happy always coz their happiness is always part of me.

>Next...
I would wish the lonely hearts never feel alone coz they are never alone.
I would wish the poors never feel poor coz life can be as rich if you live simply and be content.
I would wish the jaded fellas get back on their feet once more coz the tougher you get by, the better the rewards are ahead of you.
I would wish the hatred blinded souls be appease coz you live more when you hate less.

>Next...
However I would never sanctify those who have alot and still think life is ill treating them.
I would never sanctify those who looked down,bully,ill treat others.
I would never sanctify alot of persons..
Pbhfffttt!

>Next...
next next next....
I would wish my power can do alot more den i keep alot more for doing good and blessing our love:)

I just wish I CAN stop snacking,even though I know I am full!!Pretty soon I am gonna end up with a figure like Eunice!Euuch!*Go bang wall!*
So anyone..next time see I order some food,do me the favor of asking am I realy hungry.If the answer is negative,drag me off!
Thank you!!!

Went to buy RQ's present alone today.Nope,noone join me and I ended up touring the Shaw Tower for 1/2 hr in no avail.Irene cant turn up despite thinking she can meet me there.And so I bought a card from the gift shop there.
Speaking of which,Yng,remind me to tell ya something next time we meet.

Dear must be still working now.Hmm..rest well,dear.
*hugs*

Nothing much interesting today but I'd say working is so much breathable and lighter and alot more without Dogbert.
Somehow I hope she gets lost at China.;p

Well the dinner with Yng was thwarted once again.That gal is just too sick and weak.
Sigh,get well soon gal.
*hugs*

My heart lightens up alot knowing that Grace would be gone till next Thursday morning.
Whoo hoo..must savour it fast!

Irene may not be able to meet me tml:(
Haiz..nvm la..then I go buy RQ's present alone den go home.Oh,I wanna get new jeans too.
Always wear the same old lousy pair.

*sniffs*My nose is gonna fall off le.So itchy.
*sniff sniff*

I was reading on some of the past emails that Jason sent to me.And I read about this part...of coz I wont post it here.Makes me feel kinda sick though.Urgh..Pffft!
Oh dear...it is nothing much actually.Dun worry~

Yng I guess I cant meet you for this week le,maybe Sunday if you like.
In the mean while,take care of urself ok.Anything call me. ;)

Now...Gotta rest well.

Btw,today is my HR team angel Lay Keow's bday.Jason,wish her bday if you read this.

Cant wait till the end of Tuesday,coz Im meeting my fav gal and also the start of 'good bye Dogbert' for a week plus.
My next trouble is the catberg,who loves asking stupid questions which I have no answer for the payroll.Come on la,just sit down and carry on with your meetings!Why bother with the minor details.I only key in the figures and the formulas are not formulated by me.
But again...he is so much of a small threat as compared to Dogbert.
Just thinking having to explain to him the formulas,which I hardly know,tml is tiring.
And..pls Dogbert,since you are gg on holiday..do us the GRACE by not torturing me tml or I would curse you on your trip.
I am MALEVOLENCE,ya know.

Lemme see,tml im meeting Yng for dinner.
Wed Im meeting Irene,and maybe yin n von to buy RQ's gift.
Thurs Im dating the person I am missing so much.
Fri I am back home for dinner.
Sat Im off to RQ's bday and night got family dinner.
Sun..maybe rest,maybe go out.See if Yng would love to meet me or most likely she will stick to her boy la.
Monday....I WANNA GO OUT with you again,baby boy.Each PH is like so PRECIOUS to me now!Like additional Saturday and I really dont wanna miss it.

-___-..Dead...Eaten too much for dinner.It's home cooked food.Too yummy to resist.

Well..basically,it's a nothing much to blog day.
Nothing interesting though.Besides the fact that I feel fat everyday is not new anyway.

Pray for a good week ahead.
And just in case I have said it too much,too often,I am still gonna say I miss my boo.

I wakes up in the late morning missing Jason.
Sigh~~If only I can wake up seeing him...
I would really HATE it when he goes in for his 3 wks of BMT.
But by then I hope I would be outta that shit hotel so my torment wont be times 3.
It is so horrible just thinking of it.And it is horrible enough just to think the footsteps of tml is coming.Feel like hiding under my blankets.
(scaredy cat~_~")

AHHH~~~SIGH!!!
If I have a genie right now,I would ask him/her to bring me back to last night when I can hug him again.
*go hug garfield*

A few words to describe my whole day.
Sinful,fat,congested,lovely,laugh-ly,sexy,sensual,romantic...

I just hate my Saturday to end coz it is almost like we only see each other on Saturday and it is so so so so precious.
Sigh...and the end of it brings a whole new week of torment again.

The whole day begins with me making egg sandwiches(and I promise it is Good!But who doesnt knows how to make egg sandwiches?Bah~)
We went to Funan IT mall to get my blue tooth which I think my @$%@ lousy pc is too idiot to read a bluetooth.(F$%k)

We went to explore the Hainan Hui guan.Hey,I really thought it is a resturant selling Hainanese cusines.Who knows it is like a ..a...erm...mini Hainan museum.
Well..Hainanese culture and history.Haha,I had more fun when he was testing my chinese which drops from a high A to a D grade.
Well..I know I aint too bright.
Oh...We saw Ms Joann's cafe,which is closed?I thought it is said to be open daily?Well..maybe she's busy.
Kinda...jealous though.
A)She has a biz to run on her own with her best friend.
B)It is a CAFE that she is opening.(You,who is reading this,knows that IS my dream.)
C)...erm..She is Joann?

Ok,I know you are gonna laugh at this Jason.But this is incorporated in the genes of a female.Ever since Eve was lured by the serpent to eat that forbidden fruit,all females come to know of all insecurites.(Just like men know about sex.)

Even the most secure galfriend i know of,aka Yvonne,cant helps but to dig on her bf's exes.
We just wanna make sure that we are now more blissful,beautiful,sexier etc than them, although we swear that we have no hard feelings for/against them.

I wonder if this applys to guys as well?

Hmm...Carry on..

We watched Shark's Tale.Hey..it is not as bad as I thought to be.Yng,go catch it.It is really funny!I love that sissy shark who wants to be a dolphin.Lol..
Btw Bridget Jone's dairy begins 25th Nov.Game,sis?

Hmmmmmm~~~~
Finally our final destination--Geylang Serai.
It is like Chinatown during new year.All I breathed in was CO2 and second hand smoke.
Oh..that Ramli Buger is gr8.(it is the kinda burger that the malays sell in Pasar Malam)

Everyone..well..almost has been saying that my boy looks like a Malay.My friends,his friends,even my family.My bro told me that my uncle asked if he is a 'ba ba'(malay mixed chinese) or what?
At Geylang Serai..all the pple he met were his malay friends.I guess even the owners of those stall didnt suspect he isnt one.Coz he just conveniently commutes melayu with them.Plus with his half malay look,he easily pulls it off.

But you know..despite the fact that I keep harping on it,I am actually quite "proud" of it too.
Ha..me and my malay craze.Dont ask me why would I fancy malay guys.I dunno,dont ask!

The night ended off with alot of wonderful kisses.Jason IS one very good kisser;p
Now..if your bf isnt one kisser that you would appreciate,you probably would want to kiss your dog instead.
(Dear..dont euuch..many gals kiss their dogs.Not that you can kiss your fishes or tortise..that would be EEUUUUCCCCCCHHHH!!!)

You know,probably Yng and most gfs would agree with me.
Your boo is not a extremely handsome guy,but still you find him very attractive and handsome.
His handsome aint those kinda that makes your heartbeats goes faster.
His handsome aint those kinda that makes you goes weak in the knees.
His handsome aint those kinda that makes your head turns to his direction if you didnt know him and see him on the streets.
His handsome aint those kinda that makes you goes "mama mia~".
His handsome aint those kinda that makes your 'cuties/hunks/handsomes' blokes rader goes radiating.

But..his handsome just ...I dunno how to say...makes you find him kinda irresistable and unrateable.It is like when you see cute blokes on the street,you automatically grade him as a A+ or A guy.But your own boo handsome just cant be grade.
It is not an A but again...it is an A or maybe A+ in your own heart.

Just like...I find him REALly REALLY handsome today.
Hehe..
I love you.

Gg to Ikea with mum(and bro) is not as fun as I thought to be.
Blah~She thought that the place is uninteresting and the furnitures are not attractive/elegant etc..When Ikea is all about simplicity and style.
Guess that is where the generation gap comes in.
Didnt bought much except for a pink waste paper basket,a very gummy smelling pack of tealight candles and 2 small glass jars which I would put it to use soon.
And we didnt go to Fortune Restuarant as I planned,and instead settle for the foodcourt food at Anchor point.
But you know what?I wasnt that disappointed.Yes,I was kinda annoyed that she thinks the furnitures are ugly and limited,BUT!I still love her very much.

Alot of time I just wish I could do more,or at least do something that can please her and suits her likings.But I dunno what she likes and always ended up not doing alot or even anything.
:(
Hmmm...I dunno.I just wish she could rest more.
Of coz all these goes the same for daddy.

Yawn..

I really feel the need to live life to the fullest.But I am so pure lazy sometime.
BUT I also realise that by living your life to the fullest is not equal to making your 24 hours times 2.It is doing something you love and you wont even realise the no of hours you have put in it.
Sigh...I really wish I am doing something which I have a passion for,instead of having the same kinda dread when I go to work everyday.I cant even sleep in peace!
I dun wanna live on without a goal and passion for doing things that I do.
By next year,I WILL mark the change in my chapter of life.

In the meanwhile....lemme laze ard and be the lazy blind cat..miau~

Staying at home on a day when you are supposed to go to work is AWSOME!
But quite annoyingly that my biological clock wakes me up at the same time I am supposed to go to work. X_X!

My idiot brother is now showing off his new hp ard,basket!Feel like throwing his away.So irritating when I am here blogging and he is behind me shooting.
But sometimes I just find him..I dunno like he is a part of me afterall.
Wel..I have only one younger brother to dote on.:)

Sigh...Miss Jason.
I know I have been saying this all week...............

Anyway..poor Yng OT till 12mn plus last night.Gosh,I cant imagine staying in the office till the wee hours.Erm...well,I DID before.
But it sure feels different then.

Actually I kinda miss my previous company's colleagues.Especially the early times when everyone is like so fun and nice to get along.
I miss the times when me,Rabiah and Xiao mei were eating and teasing each other.
I miss the times when Patrick,damn..i forgot the indian guy's name,Mi-mi and KY and I were together.
And of coz some other things I wouldnt like to mention.
Dont worry..it is all of the past now.

Sometimes..memories just seem so beautiful yet kinda painful.
And I refer to all kinda memories.
Be it with family,friends,crushes,ex bf/gf.Memories always make them stand a special place in your heart.

For instance you could be with someone you love NOW,but that someone you love then will always somehow remain in that special place in your heart.
It is like those storylines whereby,"I know mum loves Mr XYZ now,but noone can replaces dad in her heart."
Right Jason?

No...I am just trying to speak in a very general term,not referring to anyone specifically.
But sometimes we are just trying to reflect on life and realise how much we have grow.

Sometimes growing up is a painful process.
You have to learn to let go,learn stuffs you hate to learn,trying to be someone you wish you will never be,having to stand up on your own and face the world.
Sometimes we got trapped in the process of learning.We got dejected and fear.And yet we hide our jadeness by hating the world and thinking life sucks,and even hate ownselves.
Whereas some smarties move up very fast and evolve to someone who is better than before.

As we grow up,the mess begins.We come face to face with all sorts of raw emotions.
One is deem lucky to be untroubled by them and live in peace.
We fall in love,fall outta love.
Some move on to another love,while some unlucky ones stay there.

Well...I'd say I am still a one quater ripe turnip in this process of life.
Half wishing that I would be fully ripe some day and half wishing I stay here.

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Just some test results from Emode:

The Beauty Pageant Test
Mia, you've been crowned Miss Personality

Not that it's surprising with your sunny disposition and genuine down-home heart. You've learned that you catch more flies with honey, and simply put, you're just a pleasant person to be around.Sure, the eveningwear competition might have been more fun than any dress-up game from your childhood days. But when it comes right down to it, that piece of fabric didn't get you to the winner's circle. It was the glimpse the judges got of your personality while you were strutting your stuff in that glamorous gown that made them notice you. So what are you going to do now that you've made it big? How about if you keep inspiring those around to be the best they can be?

Silent Sanctuary

About Me

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Monday, November 29, 2004

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Friday, November 26, 2004

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Monday, November 15, 2004

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Friday, November 12, 2004

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Monday, November 08, 2004

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Friday, November 05, 2004